Friday, September 29, 2006

Happy Moo-Moo Day!

Happy Moo-Moo Day to Airen! :D May all your wishes come true!

Photo courtesy of http://www.pp3moo.com/hm2cow.jpg

Incidentally, GambaTay and I were discussing about the phrase 一朵鲜花插在牛粪上 (which means a beautiful flower on cow dung), and he said the cow dung (usually the man) is there to fertilise the flower(female, duh!). Oh my pig! The pun, the pun, oh, the PUN!

Labels: birthdays

posted by QueenPig @ 12:21 AM 2 Comments

Thursday, September 21, 2006

To my big boss

Dear Big Boss,

I read your latest blog post. You know, we understand, really. Ranting things out probably makes you feel slightly better. Else, why people keep blogs? Sometimes, sharing your troubles with someone will lighten the load on yourself.

If you never say, how will others know?

We'll keep things going for you, so you better keep going too. I'm in because of you, and I'm not giving up. Sometimes, we just need to focus hard enough on our goal. Forget the process, leave the negativity towards the end for evaluation.

It's not easy, I know. But hey, what happened, has happened! Look forward and do what you can within your limits. Learn to say no. Learn to reject. Learn to get help from others.

You know, negative thoughts should be treated like insurance. You think about the what-ifs, and don't expect or hope for it to happen. Buy insurance for accidents, and wish you never have to use it. We usually don't go to the extent of not going out so we wouldn't get hit by a car, right? Similarly, think about the what-ifs, once in a while. But don't focus on it so much. They are there, so you are prepared when things does go wrong.

Life will be so much easier this way.

Maybe I don't understand 100% how you're feeling, but I do, to a certain extent. I've gone through similar phases. When someone close goes away, we can't help but feel sorrow. It's only human, my dear. Whether you spent time with him/her only determines the amount of regret that you feel, not the extent of sadness. And time can never be enough.

And when we only have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we need to prioritise. Are you? Whatever your decision, that should generate the least amount of regret. And probably the most amount of happiness. Give and take; it's ultimately a huge balancing act.

Well, don't even know if you'll see this post, but be sure, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.

Tell yourself, life rocks. This is the beauty, to be brought out by imperfections. ^-^

Lots of Love,
QueenPig

Labels: life

posted by QueenPig @ 1:12 PM 2 Comments

Thursday, September 14, 2006

24/7

24 hours a day is not enough for me!

I need way way way more than that. There's so much to do, and everything seems to come all at once!

Then again, I'm enjoying what I'm doing. The drawback is that I'm suffering from sleep deficiency. How? I need at least 8 hours of sleep a day, but I am getting less than that!

Oh wait... If there's 24 hours a day, I'll suffer from lack of energy! So ya.. I need boundless energy to last me more than 24 hours a day, and yet allow me to be able to fall asleep.

Women. We're so hard to please, aren't we?

Labels: school, WKWSCI

posted by QueenPig @ 8:26 PM 4 Comments

Friday, September 08, 2006

Piggy-o-Freak...

Thanks to Xinyu for this. Picture, not the pail.

Hope you get loads of lard in your body, seep lard out of your brains during examinations and piss lard.

Labels: random

posted by QueenPig @ 3:48 PM 3 Comments

When you divorce me, carry me out in your arms...

This is an email from Serene. Sweet? Touching? I don't know.. I simply felt, "Piggy-o-shit, I'm definitely not that kind of women."

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When you divorce me, carry me out in you arms...

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms.

The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home.

She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb.

She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. (QueenPig: Lust, more like it.) This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife.

When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company."

Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. (QueenPig: What?! This is SICK!) This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do?

She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her.

I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said.

She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

"I want a divorce."

I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?"

"I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!"

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back whatI had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. (QueenPig: What a JERK.) The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I wokeup, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible.

Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.

I nodded and said, "I remember."

"You carried me in your arms," she continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully.

Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.

WhenI carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.

Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms. "

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son."

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time.

I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague. (QueenPig: What a confused man. Who says women are fickle-minded?)

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded.

The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. "Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger," I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one.

Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown bigger." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain.

Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out," he said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life.

She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute.

I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."

I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew. I won't divorce. I'm serious."

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead, "You got no fever."

I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. (QueenPig: Serves both of them right.)

I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.

I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."
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I'm so busy this week I haven't really had a good night sleep. Guess what I did on Thursday night?

I wanted to take a 30 minutes nap at 10 p.m., but I ended up sleeping until 12. 30 p.m.! Cute QQ said she tried waking me up but apparently, I grunted fiercely! Haha, I completely have no idea what I did!

And this morning? Wanted to wake up at 7. 30 a.m. to finish up some work but woke up at 8. 30 a.m. instead when Cute QQ woke up. I tried! But just couldn't pull myself out of bed.

I'm so glad the weekends are here.

Labels: school

posted by QueenPig @ 9:53 AM 2 Comments

Saturday, September 02, 2006

A great big THANK YOU!

Thanks so much who came down to vote.

Thanks double to those who voted for me!

Without your support, I wouldn't be here.

THANK YOU.

*cheers* Love all of you! ^-^

Labels: WKWSCI

posted by QueenPig @ 12:12 AM 0 Comments

Friday, September 01, 2006

Give me Money.

I'm suddenly a poorer girl.

I have one less tuition student, one that pays well. One that I believe he can improve with time. One that I'm unwilling to give up.

But how? His dad gave up, and decided to send him to a tuition agency, everyday. I doubt he'll be able to cope there. And, everyday? Is that how parents educate their children nowadays? In my time, I didn't even had one tuition. My parents must have saved a darn lot of money.

Back to the point, I'm very much poorer. I need MONEY. Or a job.

So, if you have any tuition lobangs (or temporary jobs lobang, like selling drinks at some events), do tell me! Post a comment. My forte is Mathematics at Secondary level. All the students I taught improved. Some from fail to B3, others better. :)

Last words?

At times like this, I hate being poor.

Labels: life

posted by QueenPig @ 12:27 AM 0 Comments